


A little bit closer

by wemightfall



Series: Talk some sense to me [2]
Category: The Bold Type
Genre: As One Does, Episode Tag, Episode: s02e06 The Domino Effect, F/F, Feelings, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Pining, platonically telling your ex-employee you missed them, this is canon now and you can't convince me otherwise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-12
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-06-09 13:33:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15268566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wemightfall/pseuds/wemightfall
Summary: Jane gets nominated for an award and has to spend time with Jacqueline again. Her feelings are starting to get a little hard to ignore.





	A little bit closer

Jane sat on the stairs, lost in her thoughts.  
She should be overjoyed. Happy. Even getting nominated for this award was a huge deal. 

But all she could think about was Jacqueline. And Scarlet. And the fact that she still missed her old job. And worst of all, that she missed the other woman.

It took all of her strength to get herself to meet her for a photo shooting. Jacqueline looked like she always did - beautiful , intimidatingly so - and she smiled at Jane like she always did.

Jane wanted so desperately to reach out, hug her, hold her hand, anything - but she didn't. Instead she let the photographer take pictures of them and made smalltalk with Jacqueline. 

It was like talking to an ex and that thought alone was crazy. But that was exactly what it felt like. She looked at the other woman longingly and sometimes, for a split second, she thought she could see longing in her as well.

Jane shouldn't keep thinking these things, she should get out of here, forget about these feelings, as soon as she could. But part of her didn’t want to.

She thought about Ben for a second and felt guilty. She knew she should tell him, but didn’t know how. Wasn’t sure what exactly there even was to tell.

She kept bringing up Jacqueline all the time, while kissing Ben, while just sitting on the couch with him. It was so goddamn wrong, but she couldn't help that her thoughts kept coming back to her.

It was the goddamn follow up piece. Listening to all these women stories was killing her.

She couldn't help but think back to when Jacqueline first told her her story. Still couldn't believe the older woman had trusted her to tell it, wanted her to be the one to write it down. 

And now she was here, listening to other stories, having Jacqueline helped start a movement.

It killed her when she met Olivia and she told her she was assaulted by the same person. 

She couldn't decide if she should tell Jacqueline or not. She didn't want to hurt her but - she didn't know what to do.

Jane asked Ben to go with her to go to the award ceremony. It was probably a bad idea, made this seem like something more serious than she could have it be right now. But she kind of needed someone to distract her from Jacqueline.

It took her breath away, again, when she saw Jacqueline. She didn't know why she was surprised. She hadn't ever seen Jacqueline look not stunning in anything. 

She felt awfully small standing next to her.  
This was the wrong place and time to tell her about it, but it was too late to do it differently. She saw Jacqueline break in front of her and she wished she could hug her, make her feel better, somehow. But she couldn't. Could only mumble she was sorry and leave her standing there.

But Jacqueline seemed okay enough, was a stronger woman than she could have been in her position. She didn't know if it just came with the age or if it was just her. Strong against all odds.

They were sitting at a table as nominees were being read. Ben gave her smile, but she didn't really care. What she cared about was Jacqueline looking at her. She looked back at her, smiled nervously. Jacqueline’s stares made her nervous. 

She could barely believe it when she heard her name. Couldn't believe she actually won this award.  
She got up on the stage awkwardly, tried to get out a speech.

She had had something prepared, but somehow it didn't feel quite right. She didn't say all the word she had written down on her paper. Instead said the things she thought Jacqueline needed to hear now. To help her for once like she helped her more times than she could count.

Back at home, she was staring at her laptop screen, looking at the article she wrote. She was nervous, but she knew she did a good job on it. She only hesitated for a moment before hitting send.

She hesitated also only for a second before starting to type an email to Jacqueline. It was informal, personal, but perhaps for this it should be. It was Jacqueline's story, she should read it too. She hit send and closed her laptop. Shortly after she fell asleep.

The next morning she had barely gotten up as her phone started ringing. She picked up and heard Jacqueline’s assistant requesting she come to the office immediately. 

Jane felt her heartbeat quicken and her hands were shaking slightly. She wasn't sure what Jacqueline had to say but she was somehow quite sure it wasn't good.

As she arrived in Jacqueline’s office however, she realized she was in the wrong, once again. How this woman managed to surprise her every chance she got, she would never know.

Jacqueline seemed impressed by how much she had grown since she left. As somehow they're more on equal footing than before. It was true, she supposed. She had made quite a change in the last couple of weeks. 

She knew it was meant in another way, meant as wanting her back as an employee. But when Jacqueline leaned forward, looking into her eyes, saying not only that they all had missed her, but that Jacqueline herself had missed her, the feeling in her heart grew so much it hurt. She wanted to say it back, wanted to say how she missed her as well, but knew it wouldn't be appropriate. 

She took a few deep breaths, to calm herself down, before agreeing to Jacqueline’s offer. If that was the best choice wws debatable. But she wanted back this job, wanted be close to her friends. But she also wanted to be close to Jacqueline again, no matter how much it hurt.  
Maybe, in time, Jacqueline would feel just a hint of what she felt. But even if she didn't, admiring her from close up, if that was all she was gonna get, she would take it.


End file.
